:root{--ketchup: #D6301D;--ketchup-dark: #A8250F;--mustard: #F7B500;--paper: #FBEAC8;--paper-light: #FFF6E3;--char: #231913;--pickle: #7C8D3E;--foil: #C7BBA1}*{box-sizing:border-box}html{scroll-behavior:smooth}@media (prefers-reduced-motion: reduce){html{scroll-behavior:auto}*{animation:none!important;transition:none!important}}body{margin:0;background:var(--paper);color:var(--char);font-family:"PT Serif",Georgia,serif;line-height:1.65}a{color:var(--ketchup-dark)}.checker-band{height:10px;background-image:repeating-linear-gradient(45deg,var(--ketchup) 0 12px,var(--paper-light) 12px 24px);border-bottom:2px solid var(--char)}.masthead{background:var(--char);padding:2.2rem 1.5rem 1.8rem;text-align:center;border-bottom:6px solid var(--mustard)}.masthead-link{text-decoration:none}.logo{font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-weight:400;color:var(--paper-light);font-size:clamp(2.2rem,7vw,4.2rem);letter-spacing:.02em;margin:0;transform:rotate(-1.5deg);display:inline-block}.logo span{color:var(--mustard)}.tagline{font-family:Space Mono,monospace;color:var(--foil);letter-spacing:.15em;font-size:.75rem;margin:.6rem 0 0;text-transform:uppercase}.wrap{max-width:900px;margin:0 auto;padding:2.5rem 1.5rem 4rem}.story{position:relative}.ribbon{display:inline-block;background:var(--mustard);color:var(--char);font-family:Space Mono,monospace;font-weight:700;font-size:.75rem;letter-spacing:.1em;padding:.35rem .8rem;transform:rotate(-2deg);margin-bottom:1rem;border:2px solid var(--char)}.headline{font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:clamp(2rem,5.5vw,3.4rem);line-height:1.05;color:var(--char);margin:0 0 1rem;text-wrap:balance}.deck{font-style:italic;color:var(--ketchup-dark);font-size:1.15rem;max-width:60ch;margin:0 0 1.5rem}.byline{font-family:Space Mono,monospace;margin-bottom:1.5rem}.byline-cut{display:block;color:var(--foil);font-size:.9rem;letter-spacing:.02em;overflow:hidden;white-space:nowrap}.byline-row{display:flex;flex-wrap:wrap;gap:.4rem 1.2rem;font-size:.75rem;color:var(--char);opacity:.75;margin-top:.6rem;padding-top:.6rem;border-top:1px dashed var(--foil);text-transform:uppercase}.share-bar{display:flex;flex-wrap:wrap;gap:.6rem;margin-bottom:2rem}.chip{background:var(--paper-light);border:2px solid var(--char);border-radius:999px;padding:.35rem .9rem;font-family:Space Mono,monospace;font-size:.72rem;transition:transform .15s ease,background .15s ease}.chip:hover{background:var(--mustard);transform:translateY(-2px)}.body-grid{display:grid;grid-template-columns:1fr;gap:2.5rem}@media (min-width: 760px){.body-grid{grid-template-columns:1fr 260px;align-items:start}}.body-copy p{margin:0 0 1.2rem;font-size:1.05rem}.body-copy>p:first-child:first-letter{font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-size:3.2rem;float:left;line-height:.8;padding:.1rem .5rem 0 0;color:var(--ketchup)}.body-copy ol{list-style:none;counter-reset:item;margin:2rem 0;padding:0}.body-copy ol>li{counter-increment:item;position:relative;padding:1.2rem 0 1.2rem 3.6rem;border-bottom:2px dashed var(--foil);min-height:2.6rem}.body-copy ol>li:first-child{padding-top:0}.body-copy ol>li:last-child{border-bottom:none}.body-copy ol>li:before{content:counter(item);position:absolute;left:0;top:1.2rem;width:2.6rem;height:2.6rem;border-radius:50%;background:var(--ketchup);color:var(--paper-light);border:3px solid var(--char);font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-size:1.3rem;display:flex;align-items:center;justify-content:center}.body-copy ol>li:first-child:before{top:0}.body-copy ol>li p{margin:0 0 .4rem;font-size:.98rem}.body-copy ol>li p:last-child{margin-bottom:0}.body-copy ol>li p:first-child strong{display:block;font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:1.3rem;color:var(--char);margin-bottom:.2rem}.satire-facts{font-family:Space Mono,monospace}.sf-box{background:var(--paper-light);border:3px solid var(--char);padding:.8rem 1rem 1rem;position:sticky;top:1.5rem;transition:transform .15s ease}.sf-box:hover{transform:translateY(-2px)}.sf-title{font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:1.8rem;margin:0 0 .2rem;color:var(--char)}.sf-rule{background:var(--char);margin:.4rem 0}.sf-rule.thick{height:6px}.sf-rule.thin{height:1px}.sf-serving{display:flex;justify-content:space-between;margin:.2rem 0;font-size:.78rem}.sf-calories{display:flex;justify-content:space-between;align-items:baseline;font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-size:1.3rem;margin:.3rem 0}.sf-calories span{font-size:1.6rem}.sf-table{width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;font-size:.78rem}.sf-table td{padding:.28rem 0;border-bottom:1px solid var(--foil)}.sf-table tr:last-child td{border-bottom:none}.sf-table td:last-child{text-align:right}.sf-table tr.indent td:first-child{padding-left:1rem}.sf-footnote{font-size:.65rem;color:var(--char);opacity:.7;margin:.6rem 0 0;line-height:1.4}.feed-intro{margin:0 0 2rem}.feed-intro h2{font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:clamp(1.6rem,4vw,2.4rem);margin:0 0 .4rem;color:var(--char)}.feed-intro p{font-family:Space Mono,monospace;font-size:.8rem;color:var(--ketchup-dark);margin:0}.feed{list-style:none;margin:0;padding:0;display:flex;flex-direction:column;gap:1.5rem}.feed-card{display:block;text-decoration:none;color:inherit;background:var(--paper-light);border:3px solid var(--char);border-left-width:10px;padding:1.2rem 1.4rem;transition:transform .15s ease,box-shadow .15s ease}.feed-card:hover{transform:translate(-2px,-2px);box-shadow:6px 6px 0 var(--mustard)}.feed-card h3{font-family:Anton,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:1.5rem;margin:0 0 .4rem;color:var(--char);line-height:1.1}.feed-card p{font-style:italic;color:var(--ketchup-dark);margin:0 0 .6rem;font-size:.98rem}.feed-meta{font-family:Space Mono,monospace;font-size:.7rem;color:var(--char);opacity:.7;text-transform:uppercase;letter-spacing:.05em}.feed-empty{font-family:Space Mono,monospace;font-size:.9rem;color:var(--char);opacity:.7}.site-footer{background:var(--char);color:var(--foil);text-align:center;padding:2rem 1.5rem;font-family:Space Mono,monospace;font-size:.8rem}.site-footer p{margin:0 0 .5rem;max-width:60ch;margin-inline:auto}.fine-print{font-size:.68rem;opacity:.7}a:focus-visible,button:focus-visible{outline:3px solid var(--mustard);outline-offset:2px}